Why exposing autistic children to changes will not build future resilience

Helping autistic children get used to small everyday changes is very important. It can help them feel less anxious and more comfortable with everyday life. Many autistic children like things to be the same because it makes them feel safe. So, when something changes, even if it seems small, it can be very stressful for them. Teaching them how to handle minor changes can make a big difference.

Why Small Changes Affect Autistic People

Routines make autistic people feel safe. Most love routines because they know what to expect, like having the same bedtime every night or eating breakfast at the same time each day. For example, planning activities and creating a schedule is helpful to make them feel calm during the summer. This is because changes to daily routines can be challenging for them. Without routine, they have no structure for their day.

Some autistic people hide their feelings to fit in with others, which can make them feel very tired and stressed. Helping them get used to minor changes may make them think they don't need to mask as much. This means they can show how they feel without getting as overwhelmed.

Learning to deal with minor changes can make it easier to get through the day. For example, if a change happens, like taking a different route to school or having a timetable change, it won't feel as scary if they've practised handling small changes at home.

More significant changes often bring stress that you can't fully prepare for. While you can support your child in many ways, practising any change doesn't permanently remove anxiety from future life events. Managing change is a skill that autistic children must learn in a specific way. It doesn't prevent feelings of worry, stress, or anxiety, but it does give them the tools to manage their emotions and find the support they need.

Statements such as "they have to get used to it" or "they need to learn to be OK with this" are often unhelpful. Learning to manage change isn't the same as being comfortable with change. Simply exposing autistic children or adults to sudden, unplanned changes doesn't mean they will find routine changes any more effortless in the future. You will only cause further anxiety and fear.

If you'd like to learn how to help autistic children develop strategies for managing small everyday changes, check out our "Everyday Essentials" online programme.

You can access this course FREE when you buy any of our paperback books during Ready Set Calm Week (23.9. 24 - 30.9.24). See the links below for details.