Asking your autistic child what they want for Christmas

Even in my 40s, I still find it overwhelming when someone asks me what I want as a present. It’s not as simple as it seems—my mind floods with thoughts. I feel pressure to make an on-the-spot decision, to ask for the "right" thing, and often I don’t even have all the necessary information, like their budget or preferences.

For autistic children, this experience can be just as overwhelming. Sometimes, you might discover what your child wants for Christmas through casual conversations or little hints they drop. But if they don’t communicate this directly, you might need to play detective or adapt the way you ask.

For example, if your child has a specific interest, try asking a more direct and tailored question like, “Is there something you’d like for Christmas related to your hobby?” Or if they enjoy books, you could ask, “Are there any books you’d like for Christmas?” These small changes can make a big difference, helping an autistic child feel more supported and understood.

For non-verbal children, visual aids can be incredibly helpful. Print out pictures of items or categories you think they might enjoy and let them take their time to process and point out their preferences. This gives them the space and autonomy to communicate in their own way.

Finally, whatever your child asks for—even if it’s unconventional—make sure their choice is validated. Dismissing or judging their preferences can lead to them feeling misunderstood or even refusing gifts altogether.

By being patient, creative, and open-minded, you can help make the gift-giving process a positive experience for your child.

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